Absolute Honesty III — The Bird House
Ann and Mark are working on a bird house. Ann is sanding Mark is violently pounding a nail.
ANN: Mark?
MARK: Yes?
ANN: You're pounding that nail in very hard which makes me wonder if there is a way we could communicate instead of pound?
MARK: No, it's not...
ANN: Oh, I didn't mean..
MARK: Wait, it's... OK (deep breath) It's just... Ann, do you remember last year when we were on the boat?
ANN: The Shepard's boat?
MARK: Actually, it was the Clark's.
ANN: Yes, but the Shepards bought it.
MARK: (pause) That may well be, but it was the Shepard's at point of story.
ANN: Oh. Sorry.
MARK: No, it's OK. I was just saying when we were on that boat, two hours in, we were talking about cigarettes and you said "people don't realize how addicting they are?"
ANN: Yes. I remember.
MARK: Ann, that word is "addictive."
ANN: (thinking) Oh.
MARK: It's not "ing." It's "ive."
ANN: OK. (Pause.) Mark, I think maybe sometimes there are two versions of a word and we can choose either one.
(MARK starts wildly pounding a nail in the birdhouse.)
ANN: Did I transfer that idea to you... well enough?
MARK: Of course.
ANN: Good.
MARK: So, will you be saying addicting or addictive?
ANN: I'm not sure.
MARK: Just so I know...
ANN: Probably "ing"
MARK: Oh.
(They go back to sanding and pounding.)
MARK: But Ann, I like when you take a compact disc out of the compact disc player you put it upside down to prevent scratching.
ANN: Thank you.
MARK: You're welcome.
ANN: Mark, there is something that I would like to voice...
MARK: (abruptly) What?
ANN: If now is a good time.
MARK: Um...it is.
ANN: Good. When you were reading your book...
MARK: The Iliad.
ANN: Um...this was during the Odyssey?
MARK: OK.
ANN: You were reading quietly and then you said "Hmph."
MARK: Right?
ANN: But, I'm not reading that book with you, so I don't know whether "hmph" means "that's interesting" or "that's the wrong word" or...
MARK: Oh. Then when I say that next time I'll explain why I'm saying it.
ANN: OK. (rather) I think I'd rather you didn't say "hmph."
MARK: (pause.) OK.
(He pounds like a psycho.)
ANN: But I like the way you butter things. You're very even.
MARK: Yes, I'm good at butter. (He pounds once, loudly.)
ANN: Is it done?
MARK: I'm not an "it."
ANN: I mean the birdhouse.
MARK: Oh. Sorry. Yes.
ANN: That's OK.
MARK: (looking at the birdhouse) Hmph.
ANN: (trying to make a little joke) Birds, where are you hiding?
(Mark tries to smile at this.)
Mark: Yes.
The End
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Ann and Mark are working on a bird house. Ann is sanding Mark is violently pounding a nail.
ANN: Mark?
MARK: Yes?
ANN: You're pounding that nail in very hard which makes me wonder if there is a way we could communicate instead of pound?
MARK: No, it's not...
ANN: Oh, I didn't mean..
MARK: Wait, it's... OK (deep breath) It's just... Ann, do you remember last year when we were on the boat?
ANN: The Shepard's boat?
MARK: Actually, it was the Clark's.
ANN: Yes, but the Shepards bought it.
MARK: (pause) That may well be, but it was the Shepard's at point of story.
ANN: Oh. Sorry.
MARK: No, it's OK. I was just saying when we were on that boat, two hours in, we were talking about cigarettes and you said "people don't realize how addicting they are?"
ANN: Yes. I remember.
MARK: Ann, that word is "addictive."
ANN: (thinking) Oh.
MARK: It's not "ing." It's "ive."
ANN: OK. (Pause.) Mark, I think maybe sometimes there are two versions of a word and we can choose either one.
(MARK starts wildly pounding a nail in the birdhouse.)
ANN: Did I transfer that idea to you... well enough?
MARK: Of course.
ANN: Good.
MARK: So, will you be saying addicting or addictive?
ANN: I'm not sure.
MARK: Just so I know...
ANN: Probably "ing"
MARK: Oh.
(They go back to sanding and pounding.)
MARK: But Ann, I like when you take a compact disc out of the compact disc player you put it upside down to prevent scratching.
ANN: Thank you.
MARK: You're welcome.
ANN: Mark, there is something that I would like to voice...
MARK: (abruptly) What?
ANN: If now is a good time.
MARK: Um...it is.
ANN: Good. When you were reading your book...
MARK: The Iliad.
ANN: Um...this was during the Odyssey?
MARK: OK.
ANN: You were reading quietly and then you said "Hmph."
MARK: Right?
ANN: But, I'm not reading that book with you, so I don't know whether "hmph" means "that's interesting" or "that's the wrong word" or...
MARK: Oh. Then when I say that next time I'll explain why I'm saying it.
ANN: OK. (rather) I think I'd rather you didn't say "hmph."
MARK: (pause.) OK.
(He pounds like a psycho.)
ANN: But I like the way you butter things. You're very even.
MARK: Yes, I'm good at butter. (He pounds once, loudly.)
ANN: Is it done?
MARK: I'm not an "it."
ANN: I mean the birdhouse.
MARK: Oh. Sorry. Yes.
ANN: That's OK.
MARK: (looking at the birdhouse) Hmph.
ANN: (trying to make a little joke) Birds, where are you hiding?
(Mark tries to smile at this.)
Mark: Yes.
The End
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